You wear a mask for so long, you forget who you were beneath it...Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have...

V for Vendetta (2005)
V: Fortunately, I got to you before they did.
Evey Hammond: You got to me? You did this to me? You cut my hair? You tortured me? You tortured me! Why?
V: You said you wanted to live without fear. I wish there'd been an easier way, but there wasn't.
[Evey whispers, "Oh my God...?]
V: I know you may never forgive me... but nor will you understand how hard it was for me to do what I did. Every day I saw in myself everything you see in me now. Every day I wanted to end it, but each time you refused to give in, I knew I couldn't.
Evey Hammond: You're *sick*! You're *evil*!
V: *You* could've ended it, Evey, you could've given in. But you didn't. Why?
Evey Hammond: Leave me alone! I *hate* you!
V: That's it! See, at first I thought it was hate, too. Hate was all I knew, it built my world, it imprisoned me, taught me how to eat, how to drink, how to breathe. I thought I'd die with all my hate in my veins. But then something happened. It happened to me... just as it happened to you.
Evey Hammond: Shut up! I *don't* want to hear your lies!
V: Your own father said that artists use lies to tell the truth. Yes, I created a lie. But because you believed it, you found something true about yourself.
Evey Hammond: No.
V: What was true in that cell is just as true now. What you felt in there has nothing to do with me.
Evey Hammond: I can't feel *anything* anymore!
V: Don't run from it, Evey. You've been running all your life.
Evey Hammond: [gasps] I can't... can't breathe. Asthma... asthma! When I was little...
[V reaches out his hand, Evey grabs it, they fall to the ground together]
V: Listen to me, Evey. This may be the most important moment of your life. Commit to it.
[Evey continues sobbing]
V: They took your parents from you. They took your brother from you.
[Evey groans]
V: They put you in a cell and took everything they could take except your life. And you believed that was all there was, didn't you? The only thing you had left was your life, but it wasn't, was it?
[Evey sobs, "Oh please...?]
V: You found something else. In that cell you found something that mattered more to you than life. It was when they threatened to kill you unless you gave them what they wanted... you told them you'd rather die. You faced your death, Evey. You were calm. You were still.
[Evey continues gasping]
V: Try to feel now what you felt then.
Evey Hammond: [breathes heavily] Oh God... I felt...
V: Yes?
Evey Hammond: I'm dizzy. I need air. Please, I need to be outside.

V: I told you, only truth. For 20 years, I sought only this day. Nothing else existed... until I saw you. Then everything changed. I fell in love with you Evey. And to think I no longer believed I could.
Evey Hammond: But I don't want you to die.
V: That's the most beautiful thing you could have ever given me.

Valerie: In 2002, I fell in love with a girl named Christina. That year I came out to my parents. I couldn't have done it without Chris holding my hand. My father wouldn't look at me. He told me to go and never come back. My mother said nothing. But I'd only told them the truth. Was that so selfish? Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us. But within that inch we are free. I'd always known what I wanted to do with my life and in 2015 I starred in my first film, The Salt Flats. It was the most important role of my life. Not because of my career, but because that was how I met Ruth. The first time we kissed I knew I never wanted to kiss any other lips but hers again. We moved to a small flat in London together. She grew Scarlet Carsons for me in our window box and our place always smelt of roses. Those were the best years of my life.


Valerie: It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, but for three years I had roses and apologized to no one. I shall die here. Every inch of me shall perish. Every inch, but one. An inch. It is small and it is fragile and it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must NEVER let them take it from us. I hope that whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the worlds turns, and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. Valerie.

Evey Hammond: [reads] Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici.
V: [translates] By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe.
Evey Hammond: Personal motto?
V: From "Faust".
Evey Hammond: That's about trying to cheat the devil, isn't it?
V: It is.

Evey Hammond: Is everything a joke to you, Gordon?
Gordon Deitrich: Only the things that matter.

Gordon Deitrich: You wear a mask for so long, you forget who you were beneath it.

Forrest Gump (1994)
Forrest Gump: Will you marry me?
[Jenny turns and looks at him]
Forrest Gump: I'd make a good husband, Jenny.
Jenny Curran: You would, Forrest.
Forrest Gump: ...But you won't marry me.
Jenny Curran: [sadly] ... You don't wanna marry me.
Forrest Gump: Why don't you love me, Jenny?
[Jenny says nothing]
Forrest Gump: I'm not a smart man... but I know what love is.

Drill Sergeant: Gump! What's your sole purpose in this army?
Forrest Gump: To do whatever you tell me, drill sergeant!
Drill Sergeant: God damn it, Gump! You're a god damn genius! This is the most outstanding answer I have ever heard. You must have a goddamn I.Q. of 160. You are goddamn gifted, Private Gump. Listen up, people...
Forrest Gump: [narrates] Now for some reason I fit in the army like one of them round pegs. It's not really hard. You just make your bed real neat and remember to stand up straight and always answer every question with "Yes, drill sergeant."
Drill Sergeant: ...Is that clear?
Forrest Gump: Yes, drill sergeant!

Forrest Gump: [running] I had run for 3 years, 2 months, 14 days, and 16 hours.

Forrest Gump: I don't know if we each have a destiny, or if we're all just floatin' around accidental-like on a breeze. But I, I think maybe it's both.

Forrest Gump: You died on a Saturday morning. And I had you placed here under our tree. And I had that house of your father's bulldozed to the ground. Momma always said dyin' was a part of life. I sure wish it wasn't. Little Forrest, he's doing just fine. About to start school again soon. I make his breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day. I make sure he combs his hair and brushes his teeth every day. Teaching him how to play ping-pong. He's really good. We fish a lot. And every night, we read a book. He's so smart, Jenny. You'd be so proud of him. I am. He, uh, wrote a letter, and he says I can't read it. I'm not supposed to, so I'll just leave it here for you. Jenny, I don't know if Momma was right or if, if it's Lieutenant Dan. I don't know if we each have a destiny, or if we're all just floating around accidental-like on a breeze, but I, I think maybe it's both. Maybe both is happening at the same time. I miss you, Jenny. If there's anything you need, I won't be far away.

Forrest Gump: You know it's funny what a young man recollects? 'Cause I don't remember bein' born. I don't recall what I got for my first Christmas and I don't know when I went on my first outdoor picnic. But I do remember the first time I heard the sweetest voice in the wide world.

Forrest Gump: We was always taking long walks, and we was always looking for a guy named "Charlie".

Forrest Gump: My Mama always said you've got to put the past behind you before you can move on.

So I'm in the middle of editting the final draft of my 7th script and most likely my third feature film. I believe I've achieved Catharsis. "a sudden emotional climax that evokes overwhelming feelings of great sorrow, pity, laughter or any other extreme change in emotion, resulting in restoration, renewal and revitalization in members of the audience". Much of my research used for the first episode in a previous script coupled with an itch of truly understanding Philos-aphilos "Love-in-hate". Let's premise that the maximum love one can give is unconditional love and self sacrifice for belief in that. Now if Philos-aphilos is a parallel in the ancient greek world to the ying and yang symbol of Zen then the maximum hate would be Rage, Masachism, and murder. I believe that simple romantic love is mirrored with hate as to say that whenever that love grows stronger the void it's absence would bring is equally hateful. Throughout ones life there are markers. Emotional mental tabs if I may. These pages are only maximized when situations bring to light familiar feelings which in turn cause a current of reaction uncontrollable. These reactions are only controllable when you isolate them separate to the event at hand like a spiritual awakening.

Most of the time we are creatures of habit. We awake. We feed, clean, and dress ourselves then bus our asses to work. These are simple examples of habit. While more complicated habits are defense mechanisms or codependancy issues. A death close to you in your youth may result in you having strong abandonment issues. In some cases holding on too tightly and in others constantly running away. These are often refered to as walls as well. Why do we put up walls? To protect ourselves, duh. The irony of coarse is that we put up walls to protect ourselves but in the habit of that protection also block or thwart the best things in life. Which to go back to a previous blog is to live in the present. I trust my feeling just as much as the next person but as I have explored more and more my own walls, reactions, and emotions in a somewhat safe environment I've noticed some of these feelings have no place. They're not provoked or enabled by the present. They're enabled by the past and strangely enough that past isn't the truth, it's a lie. It's the way that I decifered a past in a momentary protection reaction. In order to truly have closure and confront this lie, a situation has to arise that's similar or you need to meditate on the specific situation and sit with it. Break it down scientifically like what exactly do I remember, was there someone else there as a witness? What were the causes?

To go back to what I was saying in the beginning about Catharsis. I believe when you take a story that may or may not easily be qualified in such a broad audience of people, one character's reactions can be understood. So that if the story is told correctly you put yourself in their shoes. In previous scripts I've put in way too much dialogue, which now being somewhat pleased with myself and my growth and maturity I see as filler. This tale however needs no filler. Self discovery and hidden pockets of support and good will is enough of a driving force to bring forgiveness center stage. I'm buying my website back. The script will be posted there on November 7th along with the production schedule, crew listings, and musical soundtrack for all whose interested.

Btw it has occurred to me that all these films I've posted are majority from 2000 or the 90's come January as a motion to surpress and knowledgefully reflect (not cause I'm going back to school and will be forced to or anything I swear) the past past, oh yes primarily B&W.