The boy, Tom Hansen of Margate, New Jersey, grew up believing that he'd never truly be happy until the day he met the one.

(500) Days of Summer (2009)
Tom: People don't realize this, but loneliness is underrated.

Tom: What happens when you fall in love?
Summer: You believe in that?
Tom: It's love, it's not Santa Claus.

Tom: It's official. I'm in love with Summer.
[while Montage of Summer plays]
Tom: I love her smile. I love her hair. I love her knees. I love how she licks her lips before she talks. I love her heart-shaped birthmark on her neck. I love it when she sleeps

Rachel Hansen: Just because she's likes the same bizzaro crap you do doesn't mean she's your soul mate.

Rachel Hansen: Tom, I know you think she was the one, but I don't. Next time you look back, I think you should look again.

Summer: You weren't wrong, Tom. You were just wrong about me.

Narrator: This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Tom Hansen of Margate, New Jersey, grew up believing that he'd never truly be happy until the day he met the one. This belief stemmed from early exposure to sad British pop music and a total mis-reading of the movie 'The Graduate'. The girl, Summer Finn of Shinnecock, Michigan, did not share this belief. Since the disintegration of her parent's marriage she'd only love two things. The first was her long dark hair. The second was how easily she could cut it off and not feel a thing. Tom meets Summer on January 8th. He knows almost immediately she is who he has been searching for. This is a story of boy meets girl, but you should know upfront, this is not a love story.

Tom: [Montage of Summer] I hate her crooked teeth. I hate the way she smacks her lips. I hate her knooby knees. I hate that cockroach shape splotch on her neck.
[Fade to black]
Tom: [Swayze's She's like the wind plays briefly] I HATE THIS SONG!
Bus Driver: [Open to Tom standing while bus comes to a sudden stop] Sir, you need to get off the bus.

Summer: I woke up one morning and I just knew.
Tom: Knew what?
Summer: What I was never sure of with you.

Narrator: Most days of the year are unremarkable. They begin, and they end, with no lasting memories made in between. Most days have no impact on the course of a life. May 23rd was a Wednesday.

Paul: Robin is better than the girl of my dreams. She's real.


It's quite ironic that a year and four days after the last time I blogged is when I've been inspired to blog again. For the longest time Ive had this "Say Anything" John Cusack mind set of what a relationship is or should be. Like I love spending time with you, or on certain occassions like recently. I love you. And I've thought that was enough to make it work. If nothing else, I love this person and am willing to cut off my own arm in an attempt to make them happy and hopefully save the relationship. I have been incorrect. In rereading the previous blog and looking back in retrospective. I don't believe I've been in a healthy relationship for a decade. According to my advisors, this is because I am unhealthy and attract unhealthy people. This, like my finances, is not an easy fix. The key is to concentrate on myself, my identity, and when I'm successful enough to have that under control.... get a dog. If I can take care of a dog and have it still love and respect me. Then maybe I'm able to care for someone else. I'll be trying my best to take action diligently to A. keep myself busy and B. Thwart my bad habits. I want to be better and good and just feel like I'm a descent human being.

When things are going well time flies by. I can't recall the last 5 months by day or event, they came and went and all I remember was a soft sincere showering of happiness, however the last 7 days have gone by like each grain of sand in an hourglass is falling in super slow motion into a few dots scattered upon it's bottom. I don't expect any immediate change in that. I'm losing my job at the end of the week, I can't register for classes until mid november, and I'm flat broke until this friday. The woman who was raining this sincere happiness has lost her or it's sincerety. And without wasting to much blog or head space on it. It's hard to just give up. It's increasingly hard to let go of someone you were convinced they were or are the one for you. To reference myself from above with the "Say Anything", this girl changed my premise. Before just be with her was enough, but I started wanting to share a life and imaging that life with her, like a new wave contemporary apartment, a chow chow, and a daughter or two. No ones ever gotten those fantasies or plans from me before. To go one step further, I'm probably going to set things in motion to build all the necesities that that lifestyle would require in case she returns or someone else would share that dream. It could be that I'm older now but I want to not only have love which is "the last shocking thing a person can have or the last bit of irrational magic this life holds", but take care of those things emotionally, financially, and protect them.

With that said.... 500 days of Summer might be the best movie I've seen this year. I laughed, I didn't cry but if I saw it recently I probably would. It had a variety of stylized idea's that truly pushed the envelope of it's points. One for example is this split screen scene where on the left side they had Tom's expected results of the evening at hand and on the right side there was actual events. It was a creative response to something I believe we all do with expectations. One thing I find mildly ironic on a personal level right now in a quick comparison is, when Summer leaves Tom and he falls into depression, Tom becomes sick and tired of being sick and tired he follows Summer's suggestions to become an architect. If I hadn't drank, and became some consumed with anger and resentment that I just had no answer for what to do, I won't have the drive I do right now to paint this mural or write this script. Sadly I haven't written since that last blog. Mainly for lack of inspiration and self worth. But right now, know what I do about myself and how I've let more and more of my identity become co-dependancy, i think it's time to return to it. It's about time to return to me. There will be plenty for 2009 and 2010. Leave a comment about the blog or the movies, I'd love to hear your thoughts on either.